It’s the season for gift-giving. Canadian Premier League coaches have been eagerly awaiting to exchange Christmas gifts as the off-season unfolds. In this scenario, let’s imagine all seven managers cross-legged around a Christmas tree. Weird enough for you? Boxes in hand, the coaches rip through their respective club wrapping paper… No? Was this too much? Fair enough. CPL club wrapping paper doesn’t exist yet, by the way. I’d like to continue this idea, despite the overwrought Christmas morning scene-setting. What’s on CPL manager’s wish lists this holiday season? Here are some ideas:
Stephen Hart, HFX Wanderers – Goalscorers
HFX Wanderers FC coach Stephen Hart is on the lookout for someone, anyone, who can score consistently. Hart has re-signed his group from 2019, which didn’t include Thomasz Skublak and Luis Alberto Perea. In this case, perhaps Santa will be dropping off one or two goalscorers at Wanderers Grounds (excuse the inhumane commodification of strikers). HFX had great service into the box in 2019 – Mohamed Kourouma, Andre Rampersad and others – but the squad as a whole just couldn’t make them count. Heck, just one goal in their freakish streak of six consecutive draws in a row would have saved them from the dreaded wooden spoon. With his defence looking solid, Hart will be hoping for a pair of shooting boots (and a player to put them on, if possible) under the Christmas tree.
Rob Gale, Valour FC – A healthy and prosperous New Year
The kind of greeting card sentiment that actually means something. Valour FC was decimated by the injury bug in 2019 and Rob Gale is asking for a cure this holiday season. Horror stories were aplenty in 2019 for Valour: Josip Golubar managed only three matches before suffering a season-ending injury, Michael Petrasso missed two months before returning as one of the team’s best players, Dylan Sacramento was out of contention for weeks on end … the list goes on. In fact, Dylan Carreiro was the only Valour player who dressed for every match in 2019. When a healthy bunch, Valour was effective. Punchy going forward with decent midfielders to boot, the side just needed consistency to find success. Keep some of the pieces for 2020 but keep them healthy. Recipe for success?
James Merriman, Pacific FC – “Number #1 Dad” coffee mug
James, if you’re reading this, I hope you’re ready to be a father figure. Pacific FC enters the holiday season with six returning U-21 players re-signed. With the future of over-30 veterans Marcus Haber and Issey Nakajima-Farran up in the air, Merriman is set to play a paternal role with the Tridents. Think Steve Martin’s character in Cheaper by the Dozen. With that, it’s time for Merriman to own this elder role with some typical father gifts. A tie? A mug that says “Dad” in a whacky font? Some salty-sweet candies. Maybe a recliner if he’s lucky? Merriman is Pacific FC’s dad. His gifts should reflect that.
Jeff Paulus, FC Edmonton – Hanson Boakai’s full potential
Jeff Paulus opens his theoretical gift to reveal an… idea. What a terrible gift-giving experience this has been, eh? Still, this gift could prove most valuable to FC Edmonton’s coach in the New Year. Hanson Boakai, the man known as “Edmonton’s Messi,” emerged in a prototypical, Canadian wonderkid world (before the likes of Alphonso Davies and Jonathan David). Pre-hype machine, Boakai was just another talented Canadian poking through the barrier of domestic first-team football. You can’t deny that he was a talent in the mid-2010s – and he still is. Now 23, Boakai is returning home to play. In a comfortable situation, with the trust of coaching staff, he could be just the player promised when he went abroad. If that comes to fruition, Paulus will be more than pleased.
Tommy Wheeldon Jr., Cavalry FC – Gift card to Tip Top Tailors
A second floodlight at ATCO Field would be nice, but Tommy Wheeldon Jr. and Cavalry FC will have to settle with a simple gift card this holiday season. Wheeldon Jr. was the CPL’s sharp-dressed man in 2019. Black suits, grey suits, black shirts, grey vests… he had a slick look. It extended to the rest of the squad, with players arriving at the regal estate of Spruce Meadows with custom Cavalry jackets (those sewn Cavalry logos looked particularly sharp). But people have begun to take notice. Each manager and player has seen what Wheeldon Jr. is up to, and now it’s a matter of catching up. For Wheeldon, more variety and pomp will be required to keep his best-dressed crown: berets, custom red tie clips, and a few tasteful red ties will be at the top of his list. Wheeldon needs to keep those tracksuit managers at bay in Year 2.
Jimmy Brennan, York9 FC – A no. 9… haha
Like any questionable gift, this one needs explaining. York9 FC coach Jimmy Brennan will be hoping for a player that can convert chances in the final third. It was the one thing the team lacked in 2019. Y9 contributor James Grossi pointed it out on the Centre Circle Live’s club year-in-review, theorizing how Y9’s season would have been different with an attacker who was “dangerous all the time.” A classic no. 9 would also bring creativity, too. Making York9 more difficult to defend up the middle could put them closer to a spot in the top two. Of course, the irony should be noted. Even if a number nine was signed, they cannot wear the number as its dedicated to the fans. That doesn’t make the need for another nine less important.
Bobby Smyrniotis, Forge FC – Tristan Borges
Is re-gifting gauche? Definitely. But you should be grateful. At this point, glass-half-full Forge supporters could see a Tristan Borges return as something of a gift. Clubs at higher levels have had this season to figure out if Borges is ready to make the jump. It’s unknown if any of those clubs will be interested, but there’s still lots of time left in the transfer season. Losing a Player of the Year will be hard if it happens. Who do you replace Borges with? Will Bobby Smryniotis and his coaching staff be forced into another “trust” process with a depth option? In a league set to improve quite a bit year-over-year, it’s up to Forge to keep pace with these ankle-biting sides that weren’t part of Finals 2019. Keeping an ever-improving Borges will keep Forge near the top of the standings next season.